When
Laisha first told me she was going to have a baby, I immediately thought ooooh perfect an excuse to sew something! Of course it would have to be the
exact right thing. That's when everything seems to go downhill. That one fleeting thought about creating the
exact right thing. The
thing that will fulfill all of one's craft dreams. That thought is so crippling to the creative process that after you have it everything you thought was right is ugly and everything ugly suddenly becomes a big question mark. Is it really ugly or is that just my narrow and pathetic sense of aesthetic making it ugly...aaarrrrggg!
In these moments the creative soul has two choices. One is to embrace the self doubt and watch another 4 hours of Sex and the City or to step away from what you had hoped would be the
perfect gift and do something else - anything else. I chose the later. I walked away from it.
After all I, I thought, I have months! Surely I can figure out what to make in 9 months and even then, you can probably still give baby gifts after the baby is born, right? Right! I was totally off the hook and I could just let the project come to me in it's own time - it was the perfect plan.
A few months passed and bags were made, many bags. Fabric was purchased, projects were coming and going out of my head but none of the
oh that would be so perfect for Laisha's baby type projects seemed to be taking shelter in my imagination.
Laisha is a
beautiful writer and, in my opinion, possesses a very sophisticated sense of style and art. Richard pointed out to me that it probably didn't matter what I made for her, just the fact that
you made it would be enough. He said
you wouldn't care what it was if Laisha wrote it for you, you'd like it. This was so true. So even though I really wanted to create what could be a masterpiece in baby gear, one that would appeal to that sophisticated sensibility. I decided to let go, use what I had on hand and just see where I end up.
This is where I ended up.
This quilt is made from scraps, big scraps but scraps they were. The fabric I had on hand determined the size of the quilt, when I ran out it was done. My mom had just given me some old soft sheets she thought would make good lining material. They were so soft I used one as the backing - so what if it's black polka dots. I quilted circles on it to symbolize friendships, I quilted circles until I decided there were enough circles to go around. Sure it could use some more circles but it felt done to me and I moved on.
The quilt went in the mail the day before Jonah was born. I loved making it and knowing that a little bit of me will be there with him and I hope they drag that quilt everywhere until it falls to pieces. Sending them this quilt is so much better than feeling bad for not sending anything because it wasn't the exact right thing.
So the moral of this story - it's what I talk about doing all the time. It's practically the entire theme of this blog. The moral is, Let Go! Let go and just do. I learned that from the artists hanging in the museums in New York. It really doesn't matter what it is that you do, just that you do it. Just give it a try.
