Sometimes I lay in bed and wonder about how I'm going to remember these weeks. I wonder how I'm going to record them in my head. I try to write blog posts about crying and diapers. But then there's crying and diapers and my existence returns to the present, to the minute, to the second. That is what Emmett has given me, a life in the present.
Over the last 6 weeks Richard and I have taken that rocky road to "oh I know what that cry means." It seems that everyone who's ever had a child is fully aware of this road. They know all the pot holes and rest areas. I find myself wishing that I could just go around hugging everyone who came to our aide. How on earth did the fridge stay full and where did all these onsies come from? I never purchased a baby monitor but we have one.
This morning, by morning I mean 4 a.m., just as the sky was getting light, I remembered to appreciate the privilege of it all. In fact, I remember that a lot. Ok there may have been more than 5 melt-downs so far but there's something about seeing the beginning of the day that reminds me that this club doesn't welcome everyone. And now that the first Mother's Day has come and gone, I'm not struck by the overwhelming love and appreciation I feel from my son, I'm struck by the overwhelming love and appreciation I have for him.